Talking to Kids About Diverse Identities and Embracing Inclusivity
Life as a queer family hasnβt always been easy, but the joys have been just as plentiful. We built our home on kindness, respect, and the freedom to be ourselves outside the box of traditional roles. These values have brought us so much inspiration and hope; we want to share that with the world, especially when it comes to talking to kids about diverse identities.
Openness and inclusivity are cornerstones not just for our family but also for our community. Weβre surrounded by incredible people from all walks of life, and that pushes us to be our most authentic selves every day. We want our home to be a place where everyone feels welcome and where we can all celebrate who we are.
However, despite our efforts, we often encounter challenges within our circle. Many of our friends and family struggle with talking to kids about diversity, especially about queer identities. They worry about saying the wrong thing or think their children are too young to understand. Their hesitation often leads to misunderstandings and creates a space where we struggle to exist.
We strongly believe that fostering understanding and acceptance starts with children. Their natural curiosity and open-mindedness allow them to embrace diversity when given the chance. Early conversations with kids about queer identities shape how children see and interact with the world. This leads to a more accepting and compassionate society.
Our Story: Embracing Gender Creativity
Raising our child, Evan, in a gender-creative environment means letting them explore their identity without traditional gender limits. We encourage Evan to express themselves in ways that feel natural, regardless of societal expectations. We use all pronouns for Evan to give them the freedom to decide who they are. This approach isnβt just about challenging norms. Itβs about creating a safe space for Evan to grow into their true self.
Weβve faced many challenges but also had many affirming moments. For example, I was at a friendβs sonβs baseball game a few weeks ago. While watching the game, her 5-year-old was introducing Evan to the other kids. Without hesitation, she explained to the other children that Evan uses βthey/themβ pronouns. She said, βThey havenβt decided if they are a boy or a girl yet.β Hearing such understanding from a young child was amazing. It reiterated the idea that children can understand without confusion if we take the time to talk to them.
Talking to kids about these identities is crucial in fostering this understanding. These conversations help children embrace and celebrate differences, making the world more inclusive for everyone.
The Importance of Inclusive Conversations
Despite these positive moments, weβve also faced challenging situations. In some cases, the absence of conversations about queer identities has led to awkward and disheartening experiences. For instance, a friendβs 3-year-old persistently asked where Evanβs βdaddyβ was. I explained that Evan has two parents who love them, and one of them, Eli, goes by βPaβ rather than βDad.β The child continued to push the question while the parents just sat there and watched. Their lack of engagement with my explanation left me feeling unsupported and invisible.
These experiences remind us that all parents, especially cis-het ones, need to talk about queer identities with their children. Avoiding these topics can lead to kids not knowing that diverse identities exist. This can cause fear and confusion. It can create a cycle of misunderstanding and exclusion. Parents have the responsibility to break this cycle. They need to foster a more accepting and compassionate society.
In daily interactions, children should see the queer people in their lives as valued and respected individuals. By discussing diversity, parents help children embrace and celebrate differences. This makes the world more inclusive for everyone. When parents engage in these conversations, it helps queer people feel seen, heard, and supported in all aspects of life. Talking to kids about diverse identities is a crucial part of this process.
Empowering Parents to Promote Acceptance
As parents, we can help our kids understand and accept queer identities by talking openly about them. These talks can turn our children into allies for inclusivity. They donβt have to be complicated; start with simple explanations that match their age, and let the conversations grow as they do.
Our experience as a queer family has shown that teaching kids about diversity helps create a more accepting and kind world. Itβs not just about raising our own children with these values. Itβs also about spreading understanding beyond our family. By making these conversations a part of everyday life, we can raise a generation that celebrates differences. This generation can work toward a more inclusive and loving world.
Here are several reasons why talking to kids about diverse identities is important:
Natural Curiosity
Children are born explorers, constantly questioning their world. This natural curiosity is a perfect opportunity to engage them in discussions about diverse identities. Talking to kids about diverse identities when they ask questions helps foster their eagerness to understand and provides a great entry point for conversations about diversity.
Adaptability to New Concepts
Young children are incredibly adaptable. They quickly absorb new information, making early childhood an ideal time to introduce ideas about identity and diversity. Early conversations with kids about diverse identities provide the essential building blocks for understanding. Talking to kids about these topics equips them with the tools to navigate and respect a diverse world as they grow.
Embracing Diversity Naturally
Childrenβs environments greatly shape their views. Early exposure to diverse identities teaches them to accept and celebrate differences naturally. When children are introduced to queer identities and diverse family structures, they begin to see these differences as normal and positive aspects of life. Talking to kids about these differences helps them grow up without prejudice or fear, embracing diversity as a natural part of life.
The Power of Language and Representation
The words we choose and the stories we share with our kids are like tiny seeds. Talking to kids about diverse identities plants the idea of respect and acceptance for all kinds of families, including queer ones. When we use language that welcomes everyone and shows our kids all sorts of families in books and movies, it helps them grow up understanding and kind.
The Influence of Language
Language shapes how we understand the world. The language children hear and use forms their views about themselves and others. By talking to kids and using inclusive terms, we open their minds. They begin to understand that there are many valid ways to exist and love. This approach helps shape their worldview and shows them that diversity is natural and beautiful.
Representation in Media and Stories
Stories and shows are like magic windows for kids. They get to peek into all sorts of lives different from their own. Talking to kids about different identities when they see characters who are gay, lesbian, or transgender shows them that families come in all shapes and sizes and love is love, no matter what. It helps them understand that everyone deserves respect, even if their family looks slightly different.
The Consequences of Silence
Avoiding discussions about queer identities can have unintended harmful consequences. Talking to kids about diverse identities is crucial because silence can foster prejudice, create misunderstandings, and leave children unprepared to navigate a diverse world. We must break this silence and start these conversations.
Silence Breeds Prejudice and Hostility
When we avoid talking about queer identities, we create a vacuum filled with fear and misinformation. Children notice when certain topics are avoided. By talking to kids about queer identities, we can prevent them from seeing these subjects as shameful or wrong, which can otherwise foster negative attitudes toward those who are different.
Lack of Understanding Leads to Exclusion
Children who are not taught about queer identities may lack the empathy and respect needed to include and support their queer peers. This gap in understanding can lead to social exclusion and isolation. By talking to kids about these identities, we can ensure they include LGBTQ+ peers and those from queer families, preventing a sense of otherness and separation.
Absorbing Bias from the Environment
Kids are like sponges, soaking up everything around them. If they donβt hear about different kinds of families, they might pick up ideas that arenβt very nice. Thatβs why itβs important to talk to kids about how families can look all sorts of ways β with two moms, two dads, a single parent, or many parents. By talking about it openly, we can help them grow up kind and accepting of everyone.
Practical Tips for Parents
Starting conversations about queer identities with your children can be simpler and more impactful than you might think. Here are some tips to foster acceptance and inclusivity in your family:
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Explain queer identities in simple, age-appropriate terms that demystify the concepts. For young children, say, βNot all families have a mommy and daddy. Families can look all sorts of different ways.β For older children, introduce more nuanced ideas, like how gender and sexuality are spectrums, and people can identify them in many ways.
Introduce Inclusive Books and Media
Books, TV shows, and movies that feature diverse characters and family structures teach children about inclusivity. Choose books that showcase various identities and family types, like βStella Brings the Familyβ or βAnd Thatβs Their Family.β Include shows representing multiple identities, like βSteven Universe.β
Encourage Questions and Answer Them Honestly
Create a safe space where your children know itβs okay to ask questions about different identities and experiences. Encourage their curiosity and provide honest, age-appropriate answers.
Model Inclusive Behavior
Children learn by observing adults. In your interactions, use inclusive language and show respect for all identities. Use gender-neutral terms, refer to people by their names and pronouns, and constructively challenge stereotypes and discriminatory comments.
Integrate Diversity into Daily Life
Normalize conversations about diversity and inclusion by incorporating them into everyday activities. Encourage play that defies traditional gender norms, like letting boys play with dolls and girls with trucks. Participate in events and celebrations that honor different identities and cultures, like Pride parades or discussing diverse holidays at home.
Conclusion: A Call to Action for Parents
We parents are like superheroes, shaping the world our kids will grow up in. By showing them the beauty of all kinds of families, including families with gay moms, dads, or non-binary parents, we can help them see how awesome everyone is. Letβs start these conversations today! Talking to our kids about respect and celebrating differences is like planting tiny seeds for a kinder, more inclusive world.
Sometimes, people might not understand how we raise our kids, which can be tough. We donβt expect everyone to do it the same way, but we hope theyβll be open to learning a bit more. Even just starting conversations about different families with their kids can make a big difference.
We know our loved ones care, but sometimes it feels like they might not get our whole story. Thatβs why talking to their kids about LGBTQ+ people is so important. These conversations can help everyone understand each other better and build a world where everyone feels welcome.
