Welcoming Baby with Love: A Heartfelt Letter on Gender-Creative Parenting
In the past, I have shared many family updates and announcements via email. Once again, we are sharing our latest family adventure. This was a letter to my family about Evan’s birth announcement and our decision to practice gender-creative parenting.
For the last ten years, many updates have been about new lifestyle adventures or big announcements about myself or my partner, Eli. Often, these updates have been hard topics to discuss with a loving family that doesn’t know anything different.
I’ve used these emails to introduce our family to the rich and varied experiences of LGBTQ+ life. From the joy of our same-sex marriage to embracing Eli’s journey as transgender non-binary, we’ve always aimed to share insights and understanding.
Now, we find ourselves at the beginning of a new, exciting chapter: choosing to raise our child without labeling them with a gender. This approach, known as gender-creative parenting, is a path less traveled. So, we feel it’s important to share our thoughts and reasons with our family.
About Me
As a passionate advocate for gender-creative parenting, my journey has been deeply personal. Living as a part of a queer, polyamorous family, my experiences with love, identity, and parenting beyond traditional binaries have equipped me with unique insights into the richness of human diversity.
My commitment to sharing our story stems from a belief in the power of openness and understanding to foster a more inclusive world. Moreover, having spent years navigating the complexities of LGBTQ+ life and advocating for spaces where everyone is free to be themselves, I bring a perspective grounded in real-life experiences and a heart full of hope for the future.
Crafting Our Birth Announcement
A week after our baby was born, overwhelmed with emotions and exhaustion, I decided to write a letter announcing their arrival. Firstly, I spent hours researching, delving into stories from families who’ve walked this path before us. As I read their letters, I absorbed their experiences, which helped me craft something that resonated with us.
So, this letter became our way of letting our family and everyone have a small peek into our lives. We wanted them to understand why we chose gender-creative parenting. We hope this letter does a few things: it clarifies our choice, gives future families something to think about, and maybe even encourages others curious about gender-creative parenting to consider it for their families.
The Choice of Gender-Creative Parenting
Choosing gender-creative parenting means we’re raising our child without boxing them into the traditional idea of ‘boy’ or ‘girl.’ We strongly believe in letting every person, no matter how young, discover themselves. We want to give our child the freedom to explore their identity without being held back by society’s usual paths.
By doing this, we’re giving our child the chance to show us who they are on their own terms. We want to share our story to highlight the beautiful parts and the challenges of raising a child in a world that’s still learning to accept everyone.
As we navigate this journey, our core message to our family—and anyone willing to hear us—is love, understanding, and being open to new ideas. Moreover, gender-creative parenting isn’t just a theory; it involves actively listening, embracing new lessons daily, and allowing our child to guide us on this path. Furthermore, we are committed to offering our unwavering support, ensuring a secure and affectionate environment where our child is free to inquire, discover, and blossom into the individual they are destined to become.
By sharing this letter with you, I hope to clarify gender-creative parenting and help others consider this for their families. We’re on a path full of the unknown, led by love and a belief that everyone deserves to be their authentic self.
Welcome to the world, little one
Hello Family and Friends,
We are excited to introduce our baby! Born XXX at XXX pm. Baby is full of life and joy, and we are so excited to have brought this fantastic human into the world.
As one of our first big parenting decisions, we have chosen not to share Baby’s biological anatomy or assign them a gender. Instead, we are taking a gender-creative approach to raising this kiddo and allowing them to tell us who they are when the time comes.
We want Baby to experience the world outside of the expectations people automatically place on children, as boys or girls. We want them to experience everything from an unbiased perspective and with the freedom not to feel forced into a box.
Baby will likely gravitate to a gender identity that feels good to them in the next few years. In the meantime, we do not plan on sharing that private information.
During this time, we will use they/them pronouns, which we know will be an adjustment for some, but we promise it gets easier with practice.
As a queer household, we value a person’s autonomy to decide their own path in life. We want to create every opportunity to reinforce that value.
Our decision in gender-creative parenting is based on a few ideas:
- Gender is not pre-determined at birth by your reproductive anatomy. The individual person is the only one who can decide on their gender. We want to empower Baby to tell us who they are.
- Gender stereotypes and expectations are pervasive and limiting. Even the most well-meaning people start announcing their expectations in infancy. (“She’s such a little drama queen. You know how girls are, so emotional! Just wait until she’s a teenager!” “Aw, he’s such a tough little guy!” “Aw, he’s a real ladies’ man! Look at him flirting with that nurse!”) We know we can’t avoid these things entirely, but we’d like to minimize them.
- We don’t want Baby to feel limited by what they can have or how they can play. And we don’t want our friends and family to feel limited by what they can give or how they can play with Baby. Ponies or dolls, trucks or monsters, there is no limit to what this kiddo can have or do. If you want to have a tea party, play dress up, get dirty in the mud, or play warriors, all the options are there without questioning whether it is gender-appropriate.
We understand that some of you may not agree with our decision, and that’s okay. I’m sure there are many parenting decisions that we will not see eye to eye on. But that is the joy of being a parent; you get to make the decisions that work best for your family.
Over time, many of you will probably find out Baby’s reproductive anatomy. We ask that you keep that private information to yourself and continue to use gender-neutral language until Baby has decided what feels good to them.
The ultimate goal is to raise an amazing, loving human in a caring and supportive environment.
Please reach out if you have any questions. We are so excited for you to meet this fantastic human being!
Love lots,
The Essence of Gender-Creativity Parenting
Welcoming a new baby is a joyous time, full of hope and dreams for the future. Every family celebrates this in their own way, showing what matters most.
Choosing gender-creative parenting is a new path for parenting. As more families embrace this idea, it shows us how traditional ideas about families and society are changing. Essentially, it’s about seeing each person as they are, not just as ‘boy’ or ‘girl.’
This journey needs us to be open, ready to learn, and, most of all, full of respect. It’s all about caring and accepting, making sure our child knows they’re loved, no matter what.
For us, it’s about letting our child figure out who they are independently, without society’s usual rules. We want to create a space where our child can figure out their place in the world.
A Changing World
We’re not merely discussing a new way of family life; instead, we’re becoming part of a broader conversation about identity, love, and acceptance. Additionally, this approach to parenting calls for patience, requires attentive listening, and necessitates advocating for our child’s right to express their true self.
As the world changes, so do the ways we think about raising kids. Gender-creative parenting leads these changes, helping us support all kids better. It’s not just about names; it’s about teaching our kids to respect everyone, be brave, and care for others.
If you’re thinking about this kind of parenting, we want to share what we’ve learned. We hope to create a world where every kid can be themselves without old stereotypes holding them back.
We’re sharing our story, firstly, to offer hope and, secondly, to provide a fresh perspective. Gender-creative parenting fundamentally revolves around the belief that love can transform the world. Consequently, we’re thrilled to embark on this journey. Furthermore, we aspire for our narrative to foster greater understanding and acceptance globally.
Writing your letter on Gender-Creative Parenting:
For those who choose to jump into this adventure with us, writing a letter to your family about gender-creative parenting is a meaningful way to share your thoughts, decisions, and hopes for your child’s upbringing. Here are five tips to help you craft a heartfelt and informative letter:
1. Start with Love and Understanding: Begin your letter by expressing your love for your family and your desire for them to understand and support your parenting choice. Emphasize that your decision comes from a place of deep care and consideration for your child’s future happiness and well-being.
2. Explain What Gender-Creative Parenting Is: Take the time to explain the concept of gender-creative parenting. Describe how it allows children to explore their identity without the constraints of traditional gender roles. You should include examples of how you plan to implement this approach daily. Such as allowing your child to play with various toys and wear clothes they feel comfortable in, regardless of gender norms.
3. Share Your Reasons: Discuss why you chose gender-creative parenting for your family. Highlight any research, personal experiences, or observations that have influenced your decision. It’s important to convey how this approach aligns with your values of openness, acceptance, and individuality.
4. Address Common Concerns: Anticipate any questions or concerns your family might have about gender-creative parenting and address them in your letter. This could include how you plan to navigate social situations, school, or questions from others. Providing reassurance and information can help alleviate their worries.
5. Invite Questions and Dialogue: Encourage family members to ask questions and express their thoughts and feelings about gender-creative parenting. Let them know you’re open to discussing this further and that you value their input and support. Offer resources such as articles, books, or websites where they can learn more.
It’s about you and your decision
Remember, the goal of your letter is to share your parenting approach with love and openness, hoping to build understanding and support within your family.
Feeling inspired by our journey into gender-creative parenting? We’d love to hear from you. Share your own letters, thoughts, or questions in the comments below. Let’s create a supportive community where we can all learn from each other’s experiences and build a more inclusive world together.
