Book Spotlight: Raising Them by Kyl Myers β A Beacon of Hope for Gender-Creative Parenting
Parenting is a journey full of challenges. For those of us choosing to raise our children outside traditional gender norms, the path can feel even more uncertain. Few resources are available to guide us in gender-creative parenting, making it daunting to find reliable information and support.
Thatβs why discovering books like Raising Them by Kyl Myers is such a relief and inspiration. With todayβs ever-changing parenting norms, Raising Them stands out as a heartfelt guide and beacon of hope.
Kyl Myers, a sociologist and a genderqueer parent, shares their family’s story with an honesty thatβs both refreshing and enlightening. Through their narrative, Myers educates us and invites us into their life. They showcase the challenges, joys, and deep love that shape their approach to parenting.
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Why Raising Them Matters
In a world quick to label and set gender expectations, Raising Them reminds us of the beauty of letting children explore and define their identities. Myers’ story is one of courage. It shows the strength of breaking free from societal norms. The book highlights unwavering support for children’s journeys toward self-discovery.
Gender-creative parenting doesnβt assign a specific gender to children at birth. Instead, it lets kids freely explore their identities without traditional gender roles. This approach means not forcing boys to play with trucks or girls to play with dolls. Instead, it allows kids to choose what they like. It also means using gender-neutral pronouns and language until the child picks their own preference.
Myers’ background as a sociologist deeply shapes their approach. They provide a well-researched foundation for their practices. Myers explains the social constructs of gender and shows how breaking free from these constructs can help a child’s development.
For families like ours, navigating polyamory, queer identities, and fostering a gender-free environment, Myers’ experiences offer validation and a sense of camaraderie. The book acknowledges the challenges of raising a child without assigning a gender at birth. It celebrates the potential to create a world that embraces all identities with open arms.
A Personal Reflection
Reading Raising Them felt like looking in a mirror. It reflected the hopes, fears, and immense love that come with choosing a less-traveled parenting path. Myers’ transparency about the questions, societal pushbacks, and moments of self-doubt resonated deeply. It reminds us that while the journey has its challenges, the rewards are immeasurable. Seeing your child confident in their skin and free from gender norms is priceless.
When I announced my pregnancy and our parenting intentions to my family, I used Raising Them as a tool. I gave each family member a copy of the book along with an ultrasound photo. It felt easier to let someone else explain things to them rather than give a lecture myself.
My mom finished the book in three days. She loved the idea and got excited about our approach to parenting. The book gave her a starting point for doing her own research and finding even more resources about gender-creative parenting.
Resonating Moments from Raising Them
Each chapter of Raising Them brought new layers of understanding and connection. While I could share insights all day, here are three parts of Kyl Myers’ story that really stuck with me.
One part of the book that particularly resonated with me was when Kyl talked about their fears of being exposed by hospital staff during the birth of their kiddo, Zoomer. They had planned a home birth, but due to the baby being breech, they had to move to a hospital.
Despite having supportive people around them, they were afraid that just one person might disagree with her parenting decision and expose the baby’s “gender” to everyone. Luckily, this didnβt happen, but it was a real fearβone that I also shared.
Another mind-blowing interaction described in the book involved a friend of a friend who was so obsessed with knowing Zoomer’s biological gender. She told Kyl she “wanted to take Zoomer’s clothes off so [she] could know.” This was one of those moments that made me pause and question if what we were doing would be safe for our child. It reiterated the importance of pushing society to change its views about gender.
Additionally, Myers did an interview where their story was published for the world to see. The article went somewhat viral, and suddenly, they had a lot more to deal with. People started calling CPS on them regularly, with complete strangers convinced that what they were doing was so harmful to their child that CPS needed to get involved. This part of their story highlights how much people still do not understand gender. It also underscores why we choose to stay anonymous. We fear the same outcome if people find out who we are.
One of the book’s most powerful takeaways is the importance of community. Just as Myers found support and understanding within various networks, it underscored the value of creating and nurturing spaces where families can share, learn, and grow together. It’s a testament to the strength of collective solidarity and shared experiences.
To My Readers
Whether you’re familiar with gender neutrality or new to the idea, Raising Them offers thought-provoking and deeply moving insights. This book challenges us to rethink our perceptions about gender. It encourages us to embrace identity fluidity. Above all, it advocates for a future where every child is celebrated for who they are, not just their presumed gender.
Kyl Myers shares practical examples that illuminate the journey of gender-creative parenting. For instance, they describe how their family navigated public spaces and social interactions without revealing their child’s gender. This approach helps others see their child simply as a person, free from gendered expectations.
Myers also discusses how they explored clothes and toys that werenβt traditionally gendered. They emphasize the importance of letting children gravitate toward what they naturally enjoy, fostering a sense of freedom and authenticity in their development.
Another powerful example from the book is how Myers handles questions and comments about their child’s gender. They share strategies for responding to curiosity in a way that respects their child’s privacy. These strategies help manage intrusive inquiries from both strangers and loved ones.
As we continue our journey, sharing stories, successes, and even stumbling blocks, I’m reminded of the power of books like Raising Them. These books inspire, educate, and connect us. They open conversations that can change how we see the world and raise our children.
Let’s take this conversation further. Share your thoughts, experiences, or stories of navigating parenting in a world learning to let go of labels. By sharing, we can support each other and build a community that embraces all forms of identity and expression.
Your Stories Matter
Now, I turn the floor over to you. Have you had experiences with gender-creative parenting? Are there other resources or books that have touched your life or shaped your parenting approach? In the comments below, let’s weave a tapestry of stories and support. Together, we’re not just raising children; we’re nurturing a generation that believes in the freedom of self-expression and the unconditional acceptance of all identities.
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