Parenting in Plural: Navigating Pronouns with a Side of Sardines
Ah, the rollercoaster of parenthood β it’s not just about raising a tiny human but embarking on a journey packed with surprises, sleepless nights, and, occasionally, public commentary on my unconventional parenting choices.
If you’ve dipped your toes into the waters of gender-neutral parenting, you’ve probably encountered your fair share of raised eyebrows and head-scratching moments. For me, this often takes the form of people assuming I have twins because I use they/them pronouns when chatting about my baby.
Even within circles where I’ve been upfront about my commitment to raising my child beyond the constraints of societal gender norms or after sharing my heartfelt Letter to my Family (in the hopes of sparing myself from the monthly repetition), the twin surprise still manages to sneak its way in.
Cue today’s escapade. While at one of my volunteer gigs, catching up with teammates, the conversation, as expected, quickly veered toward the baby and my adventures in parenthood.
Amid my animated tales about their lightning-fast growth, newfound crawling skills, and their adventurous palate (spoiler alert: sardines were involved), I’m interrupted by a teammate. A pediatric nurse, likely in her mid-30s, was stuck at they/them and gave me the classic deer-in-the-headlights look at the mention of gender-neutral parenting.
Most likely, in an effort to defuse the discomfort, another teammate chimed in with, “We need a non-plural alternative for non-binary people.” During our bustling training session, it was not the ideal time for me to give a history lesson on the evaluation of grammar or a lecture on the existence of such alternatives.
Undeterred, I smoothly steer the conversation back to the joys of watching my kiddo grow, throwing in a humorous anecdote about our recent sardine experiment (spoiler: not a culinary masterpiece).
The rest of the training unfolds with laughter and banter about our impending Christmas chaos and the avalanche of gifts from the grandparents.
Yet, days like these serve as a reminder of the importance of continuously introducing the concept of gender-neutral parenting and promoting the everyday use of they/them pronouns for singular individuals.
