Blogging a New Chapter: Celebrating Non-Traditional Families and Parenting
I’m going to start a blog. This is just the start, an open thought to myself and anyone who may find themselves reading this.
I’ve never considered myself a good writer. In fact, I have a learning disability and struggle daily with writing at my job. So, the idea of starting a blog never crossed my mind.
Where did I get the idea?
Where did I get the idea? A news article recently popped up on Facebook about a woman who makes $760,000 a year in passive income. I clicked on it as someone trying to devise an ethical side hustle. She now has a financial advice blog that supports her family as they travel the world, living on a sailboat.
I started thinking, why not me? I have exciting things to share; my life is pretty cool. I balance a full-time job while volunteering for three non-profit organizations. I’m an asexual lesbian in a polyamorous marriage, own and maintain a home with four fur babies, and have a human baby on the way. While I may be too niche for one specific type of person, I have a lot of insight and thoughts that intersect across many lived experiences.
But again, how could I be a writer? I hate writing! I cringe at having to produce reports every day at work. There’s no way I could develop a weekly blog post that people would enjoy reading.
Yet, as I thought more, I realized I journal and love to record memories. My desk has dozens of notebooks filled with lists, journal entries, inspirational ideas, self-motivation tips, and personal research. So, I love writing. I dislike writing because writing in my job is about the wrong things.
How do I start?
I spent the last couple of weeks figuring out where to start. Many advice blogs begin with building your website: buy a domain, pay for a plan, and download WordPress. It’s after this that you figure out what exactly to write about. But how do you buy a domain name if you don’t know the topic?
Luckily, my best friend solved that issue. As soon as I told her my idea, she came up with the name Lesbian in the Treehouse. It was perfect.
The next day, I spoke with my partner and tried to think of a niche topic where I could be an expert. I was leaning towards a lifestyle blog where I discuss how I balance my many hobbies, my love for learning, and my continual efforts to become a better human. Mix in a book review or two from the dozens of books I read each year. Still, I needed help to focus on a single space where people would want to return.
That’s when my partner suggested a mommy blog, and my immediate reaction was no way. It seemed too cliché. I brushed it off, bought the domain, and started building the webpage.
That night, as I continued to think of ideas, mommy blogging kept coming back to me. It wasn’t such a bad idea. I am currently pregnant, and once the baby arrives, everything in my life will have to change and adjust to that role.
What will I write about?
My ability to commit to my volunteer work will be affected and influenced by my identity as a mom. All persons involved in my polyamorous relationship will be affected by this kiddo. Every part of my identity will adjust as I learn to incorporate and balance this new one.
I started to imagine a blog where I could share how I struggled at something but learned or how I succeeded at another thing and what was helpful. So that’s it; I would become a mommy blogger.
I’m so excited to start. This will be a huge learning journey, and I’m sure I’ll discuss the ups and downs along the way. Ultimately, I will share how I balance having fun, enjoying my hobbies, loving the people around me, continuing to grow, and how it all connects to being a mom. I get to make this my space with my stories and passions.
I know some posts will move away from being a mom. A review of the latest murder mystery book I read rather than a book on parenting. Or my adventures of attending my sister’s bachelorette party rather than scheduling playdates.
Regardless, the best parents are those who can continue to maintain a sense of self-identity while raising their kids. Ultimately, it all relates to my intentional decision to become a mom and how that will influence all other choices in my life.
Over time, things will change as I learn my voice and grow my audience, and I know mistakes and lessons will be remembered. But that is still all part of the process.
My Commitment to Social Justice
That being said, this blog will be progressive-leaning. I can’t promise that I will always get it right, but I work every day to be anti-racist, and I try very hard to make sure that the things I put in my life follow that line of thinking.
I will post about social justice and human rights. I stand with Black Lives Matter, abortion rights, women’s rights, and trans and gay rights. So, if that’s not for you, this may not be your blog. And at no point will I tolerate any amount of hate in my space.
I welcome questions of curiosity coming from a mindset that wants to learn and understand a perspective different from their own. Still, I will remove any comment from a space of hatred and anger.
This is my first blog, and I’ll likely edit and change it a dozen times before I finally post it, but I’m excited to see where it goes.
UPDATE
I’m adding updates to my blog posts before even launching my site. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been writing non-stop, trying to figure out my voice and what makes me different from other “mommy” bloggers.
When you search for an advice piece on Pinterest, dozens of blogs give you their two cents. Why am I to think my voice is any more memorable than theirs?
The thing I don’t see enough of is parenting advice and stories from queer, non-traditional families. An inclusive voice that recognizes not all families are made up of one mommy, and one daddy and not all birthing parents identify as moms.
I identify as a mom (to-be) and am excited to share my stories. But I want to create a space that includes all parents and guardians going through the same struggles.
It may not seem like much to most people, but the small things add up over time. The birth center form has ‘husband’ but not ‘wife’ as a relationship label for my emergency contact. Or the insurance form that defaulted gender to female without asking.
So I’m going to try this. I will take the advice and stories my mommy bloggers post about and make a space that invites everyone.
I want to shout out and support inclusive brands while holding accountable companies that make their spaces uninclusive and uninviting. I understand I may limit my audience by doing this, but this is essential work. I believe that many cis, straight allies out there want to learn and do the same.
What stories and advice would you like to hear from an asexual, polyamorous, lesbian mom-to-be?
